I be writin’ up some de ogre jokes long time ago here. Now here be some more of dem. Not all of dem be really fair to de ogres, but dem jokes, after all.

One time dis ogre be lost in de desert, real long time. He real thirsty an’ about to die when he see dis little stand with an elf sellin’ de drinks. He come up an’ yell, “Gimme some Oggok Swill!” De elf say, “We don’t have any, just water.” So the ogre say “Well, I wait for de next place den!” an’ he go back into de desert.

What you call a place dat got pretty shards of glass everywhere, people cryin’, an’ a dorf hangin’ on de wall? Your favorite bar after an ogre come through.

One day de owner of de Bloodhaze be hirin’ dis new bouncer, an’ warnin’ him bout de biggest, meanest man in all de Freeport, Big Jack. “If you see Big Jack coming, everyone run!” So de bouncer be on de job a few days later, when someone come runnin’ in, yellin’ “Big Jack! Big Jack comin’!” Everyone run out until dis ogre come in, he huge, ten feet tall, ground shakin’ under his boots. He come to de bar, yell out, “Gimme a drink!” De bouncer gives him a bottle, he be shakin’. De giant ogre smash de bottle open an’ drink it down, den smash it back on de bar so hard de wood almost break. De bouncer be askin’ real afraid, “You want..another beer?” De ogre look at him an’ say, “No way! I hear Big Jack be comin’!”

What you call an ogre dat got a lot of education? Sir.

So dis ogre, he be walkin’ around all de time with his eyes closed. It a real hard life, he bumpin’ into tings, it hard to adventure, an’ sometimes he trip an’ fall on de little people. So one day a friend say, “Why you keep dem eyes closed like dat?” De ogre say, “Well, you remember few weeks ago when you give me dat surprise party, an’ say “Close your eyes an’ count to twenty?” I still be workin’ on dat!”

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