I love bein’ an adventurer an’ goin’ to all de diffrent places and fightin’ de bad peoples. You meet lot of nice peoples, get some good armor an’ stuff, an’ it be lot of fun! Dere lot of problems bein’ an ogre in de caves an’ dungeons tho. Here be some of dem.

Hittin’ My Head

Ogres be real big an’ strong, but we not made to fit in de tiny caverns or de dungeons dat some elf build. First few times I go in dere, pow, I hit my head on de stone so hard dat I not wake up till de adventure over! De people I be dere with try to drag me out but I be too heavy, so dey leave me dere, mebbe thinkin’ I look like a dead golem ting or somethin’. I wake up, got goblins starin’ at me wantin’ to know what goin’ on! So you get real good at duckin’ down, or you get yerself a real good helmet. One ogre friend o’ mine got dis funny lookin’ leather ting on his head for a long time, he say it used to be some kinda human chair, de kind dey relax in, but he jus’ put it on his head an’ it be nice an’ soft when he bonk it on tings.

Steppin’ on tings

Now I be walkin’ careful as I can on de adventures, but mebbe dere times dat I not look so good. Steppin’ on de mages robes not so bad, ‘cept dem warlocks, dey turn you into a toad before you say sorry! But sometimes you be steppin’ on other tings. I remember dis one time, I not payin’ attention, I hear dis squishin’ sound, an’ I look down an’ dere be dis little giant man, de kind dat help people from de Rallos Zek, he all smashed dere under my foot. I try to fix him up but he was gone. Nother time I almost smash a gnome when I kneel down to rest, how I supposed to know his back was right where my knee come down! He yell and throw tings around, but he be okay with a heal or two.

Carryin’ Tings

Yah we big an’ strong, an’ I be glad to help my friends an’ de other nice peoples, but dere no reason make me be like closet walkin’ around in de dungeon! I got peoples wantin’ me to carry de chests, carry de extra armors, carry de dead monsters sometimes, I don’ know why. One time, it all get too heavy, an’ down I go, de next group come by, dey say “Hey, free loot!” Next ting I know dey tryin’ to take tings out of my pockets, take my good knife, an’ all dat. It all too much! We not jus’ for carryin’ tings!

Mebbe I tink of more adventurin’ problems an’ I talk about dem later. You ogres know what I be talkin’ about!